


Break Glass Not Hearts

by dreamingKatfish



Series: Oumasai Week 2K19 [4]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oneshot, how else should tag this?, im tired now, oh well, oumasai week 2k19, sorry for breaking their hearts again yall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 06:36:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18138710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamingKatfish/pseuds/dreamingKatfish
Summary: Sometimes words can get to you and you'll believe those words. And then you'll act according to those words, unfortunately that's not always a good thing. Especially for Ouma.





	Break Glass Not Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> it's day 6 and prompt is comfort. and now im vry tired.

_ Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Yeah, what a load of bullshit. _ Ouma stares into the mirror, pale complexion and dark bags are reflected back at him. He thinks he looks as dead as he feels, but he applies concealer and put on a bright smile. There’s no difference to him, but the boy in the mirror looks happy. So everyone else will see that same. Even his dearly beloved Saihara. Oh, how he doesn’t deserve such a wonderful boy in his life as everyone reminds him since the two started dating. Hope’s Peak Academy, it’s supposed to host students leagues above the rest of the world. But Ouma knows they’re just like every other rotten teen. The only good person there is Saihara. But even that’s likely a lie. Ouma walks back into his bedroom and gets dressed for the day. Sliding on his signature checkered scarf last and leaves the room, checking getting ready off his mental to-do list for today.

 

He skips through the dorm hallways, humming a playful tune. He knows Saihara is likely already in the cafeteria getting breakfast, always the morning person despite his emo presentation. Ouma heads down there himself, watching people turn around when they see him go by. He pretends he doesn’t notice. He’d say he his heart doesn’t ache at the thought, but then he’d be lying to himself. And he believes yourself is the one person you should never lie to. He gets to cafeteria and searches for Saihara. Rushing over once he spots him. Checking ‘greet his beloved’ off next. He throws his hands over Saihara’s eyes, “Guess whooo~” he sing-songs. 

 

Ouma ignores Harukawa and Momota’s glares along with Akamatsu’s suspicious glances. Focusing solely on Saihara, feeling him smile as he gently takes Ouma’s hands off his face and turns around, “Good morning Kichi. How was your sleep?” Ouma ignores the voice in his head screaming at him that the warmth in Saihara’s voice and eyes are lies. 

 

Instead, Ouma’s fake smile brightens, and he swings in place, “I had the most wonderful dream about my beloved! But that’s a lie, supreme leaders don’t dream of anything but world domination,” Ouma lies. He didn’t get any sleep again. He hopes Saihara doesn’t notice. He doesn’t want to risk burdening Saihara more than he already does. He can see Momota about to stand in the corner of his eyes, but Harukawa holds him down.

 

Saihara’s smile is soft and sweet as he plays along with Ouma’s claim about dreaming of world domination, “Of course Ouma. So how did you dream of it happening this time?” Ouma knows of a quick lie he can spew as an answer. But Harukawa’s scoff stops Ouma’s thoughts temporarily. And Momota stands up ready to tell Ouma off even though he had yet to do anything wrong. Akamatsu plays with her phone, acting as if she isn’t paying attention so she doesn’t have to hold responsibility for not stopping Momota. Saihara’s back is to all of them.

 

Ouma cuts off Momota before he can speak, “Sowwry Saihara-chan~ That’s classified information. If I told you then I’d have to kill you! Besides a supreme leader needs his breakfast. It’s the most important meal of the day, you know!” Ouma pulls out of Saihara’s hold and leaves before Saihara can even say goodbye. Though he hears Momota bad mouths him the moment he starts leaving. Harukawa adamantly agreeing and Akamatsu weakly giving her own agreements. They call him a monster, act as if he’s manipulating Saihara. Ouma doesn’t stick around to see if Saihara defends him, he knows Saihara won’t stand up to his friends like that. Saihara cares more about them than he does Ouma. Ouma can’t blame him. He leaves out the back door, ignoring the line for breakfast. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s skipped a meal. Saihara won’t notice, or if he does, he doesn’t care. After all, who’d care about a monster like Ouma? 

 

No, Saihara’s too good to be tainted by Ouma. Saihara’s too kind for his own good, afraid to leave, afraid to hurt Ouma even if he should hurt him. Everyone keeps telling him that, Ouma will never understand why Saihara doesn’t listen to them. Maybe if Ouma just disappeared, it’d make everyone happy. And then Saihara doesn’t have to worry about not listening to everyone about Ouma. Except Ouma can’t disappear, DICE would notice. Sure they can run themselves fine, he made sure of it. But as they constantly remind him, they don’t want to run by themselves. They want Ouma to lead them. Ouma could never refuse them even if refusing them was the only way he could live. 

 

Ouma sits down at the base of one of the many trees around the academy grounds. But maybe there was one solution, he can’t believe he didn’t think of this sooner. He could just take Saihara’s choice away, Saihara can’t be mad at himself for breaking up with Ouma if Ouma broke up with him first. And he knows he can make Saihara hate him easily so Saihara wouldn’t be sad, only mad. Ouma erases his mental to-do list for today and rewrites it. The first step, ignore Saihara all day.

 

\-----

 

They’re in class and Saihara is confused by Ouma’s lack of greeting. Usually, Ouma would begin every class planting himself on Saihara’s desk and start chatting about whatever he can come up until class starts. But today Ouma walked right past him, not even glancing at him, and instead starting messing with Amami and Iruma. Saihara doesn’t get it, Ouma seemed fine when he saw him at breakfast.  _ Did something happen after Ouma walked away? _ Saihara knows the other three were being a bit mean, but Ouma had already walked away by that point. Besides even if someone told Ouma what they had said they would have mentioned that Saihara told them off too. He can’t imagine why Ouma ignored him. Even worse was as the class went on, despite Ouma going out of his way to mess with their fourteen other classmates he didn’t once look at Saihara. Ouma didn’t speak to him and was actively avoiding looking directly at him.

 

Saihara feels stumped. What’s gotten into him? Ouma never does something like this. Saihara doesn’t know what he’s missing. Saihara tries to shake off the thoughts and focus back on the lesson, Ouma will probably go back to normal later. But even as he turns his attention back to the teacher the dread and anxiety in the back of his head stayed. Saihara has a feeling something terribly wrong either has happened or will happen. 

 

The rest of the school day passes by the similarly with Ouma ignoring and in some cases actively avoiding Saihara. Doubt and dread increasing tenfold every hour until they consume his thoughts. And when the school day ends and Ouma goes to leave the classroom with even a goodbye Saihara can’t stand it. He rushes forward and grabs Ouma’s arm, “What is going on!? You’ve been ignoring and avoiding me all day. What happened, please Ouma tell me if I did something wrong?” Saihara begs. Ouma just yanks his arm out of Saihara’s grip and begins to walk away again. Saihara steps in front of him, “I’m not leaving until you tell me. Why won’t you talk to me Ouma? You know I’ll always listen.”

 

Ouma glares at him a deep frown etched into his face, Saihara can’t see anything but pure malice from Ouma’s expression. But refuses to back down and so Ouma begins, “You want to know so badly? Well, it’s simple really even that idiot Momota can get it,” Ouma’s frown turns into a sharp grin, “I’m breaking up with you. I was being nice enough to not do it in class. After all, no one wants to see Saihara be a crybaby just because he was a naïve idiot.”

 

Saihara takes a step back then. His heart dropping through the ground, it feels like falling. And he doesn’t get it. He doesn’t cry yet but his voice cracks as he asks, “Why?” He thought they were happy. He thought they were good. So he doesn’t understand why Ouma would do this. His knees feel weak.

 

Ouma’s sharp smile drops into an unimpressed frown, “Easy. I don’t love you. I never did. You’re boring and too dependent on others. You cling since you can’t stand up for yourself. You’re a coward, terrified to hurt anyone’s feelings. And look at how pathetic and blind you are! You call yourself a detective and you didn’t even notice such an obvious lie as me ever loving someone so weak as you,” Ouma watches as Saihara drops to the ground, head hanging low. But he doesn’t stop, he has to make sure Saihara hates him. It’s for his own good. Ouma looks down at Saihara, his expression betraying his words while no one watches, “I don’t know how your friends can even stand you. Oh, wait they don’t. They keep you around to make themselves look better in comparison. And use you when they can. I’m surprised they haven’t decided you weren’t worth it anymore with how much you refused to listen to them about. Actually, they probably just stuck around to tell you ‘I told you so.’ And they really didn’t they? I was always a monster. Everyone knows that, but you seriously thought you could change me? Talk about hero complex, god you’re worse than Momota. And that’s saying something. And you don’t even have anything to back it up. You’re crying from someone breaking up with you even though it was obvious they would from the start. You so weak it’s almost pitiful. With how annoying you are, I should’ve done this sooner,” Ouma’s heart breaks as he hears Saihara sob. The light in his eyes flickers in worry. He feels like the air has been knocked out of his lungs at the sight. He notices his hand started unconsciously starting reaching for Saihara, but he pulls it back. Ouma fires the final bullet, “Oh get up you weak fuck. Ugh, you know what? Who cares, I got better things to do than deal with you. Do us both a favor and don’t bother me again. I would rather not have anything to deal with someone so pathetic like yourself.” Ouma schools his expression and walks away, leaving Saihara on the floor crying to himself. It takes every ounce of his willpower to not turn around and run back to Saihara and apologize for saying such horrible things. Promising he doesn’t mean them and telling the truth as to why he did. He doesn’t though, reassuring himself it’s for the best. Not even he believes it when he says that.

 

\-----

 

Saihara sits on the floor for a while, tears streaming down his face. But when the tears stop enough for him to see again Saihara stands up and runs to his dorm room. Slamming the door shut once in. Ouma was cruel, crueler than Saihara has ever seen. Despite Ouma’s explanation he still doesn’t get it. Were all those moments shared between them really just one big lie? He thought- Saihara doesn’t know what he thought anymore. Ouma cut ties with Saihara with a sharp knife sure, but the cut wasn’t a clean one. No, it’s was jagged and painful and Ouma did that on purpose. He took that moment to make sure he hurt Saihara. And Saihara doesn’t get it. 

 

Saihara takes off the stiff clothes and throws himself into his bed, hiding his face in his pillow as he begins to cry again. He felt lost and sick and he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t bring himself to get up. He wanted to stay in bed for all eternity and let the world around him die. He stays like that for several hours. When he’s late to dinner someone knocks on his door. He hears Akamatsu’s concerned voice call out for him from behind it. He just shouts to go away. He didn’t want to talk to anyone right now. Momota’s voice shouts back for his sidekick, wondering just what the hell happened. Saihara grabs the second pillow and covers his ears. Shutting them out. But Harukawa warns him to come out or else she will break in. Saihara curls in on himself. And after a few seconds, Harukawa has kicked the door in. The three enter and find Saihara trying his best to hide from the world. Akamatsu walks closer and sits on the bed and places her hand on Saihara’s shoulder, “Hey Saihara, what happened?” Voice soft as ever.

 

And despite his better judgment Saihara picks his head up and tells them, “O- Ouma-kun broke up with me,” Momota in the background shout and begins to move for the door with Harukawa, both threatening Ouma’s life and when Saihara reaches back for them, “Don’t!” They look at him in confusion, “Please don’t do anything to him. Ouma-kun did nothing wrong. It’s my fault this happened, please don’t blame him.”

 

Momota storms up to Saihara and shakes his shoulders, “The fuck do you mean he did nothing wrong and that you’re at fault!? This is clearly that asshole’s fault,” Momota looks away, “I should have known that asshole would do something like this. He’s never up to any good.”

 

Harukawa walks up, arms crossed, “I know I shouldn’t, but we told you so Saihara. We told you he’s a monster that cares about no one but himself. Told you that he’d hurt you. He’s a criminal and a menace to society. He doesn’t deserve your time and tears.” Saihara begins to shake, this time in anger.

 

And he truly loses it when Akamatsu gives her own soft agreement. Yanks away from her and stands up shouting, “SHUT UP! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HIM! GET OUT!” He points to the door. The three stares at him stunned. He glares at them through tears, “GET OUT OF MY ROOM!” He falls to his knees repeating at them to get out. THey reach for him and pulls away, “LEAVE ME ALONE!” The three look at him in varying levels of confusion, concern, and annoyance. But end up complying to his commands and leave, trying to close his broken door to the best of their ability before leaving. He continues to sob from his new place on his floor trying to block the world at large. 

 

\-----

 

The following week feels the pain from Ouma and Saihara. When Saihara showed up the next morning his hat he hadn’t worn since the start of school was back on his head. And he moved mechanically through his routine. People were happy he at least ate and slept, but it was clear he wasn’t happy about it. In fact, he didn’t look like anything at all. His eyes were empty, devoid of any emotion even sadness. He refused to sit near anyone and whenever someone sat by him he didn’t even seem to register their presence. He couldn’t seem to hear anything anyone said. He didn’t see anyone. They felt like he was more of a robot in that week than even Kiibo was. And when he isn’t eating or in class, he was in his room. Whenever someone went to check on him they saw him either asleep or staring blankly at the wall. The boy they had all come to know was gone. In his place was just an empty shell. It was like Saihara had just shut down mentally. 

 

While Ouma sat on the complete opposite side of the spectrum. Where Saihara was gone mentally, Ouma was very aware. Though he lacked Saihara’s current ability to take care of himself. Skipping meals and never sleeping. Ouma’s personality hid this though for whenever he was there it felt like hell. He seemed to lose any semblance of goodness he might have hinted at around the others. All the kindness in his eyes from when he was around Saihara was gone. He felt cold. His villain persona kicked up to the max. Where in the past most of his lies and pranks were admittedly just playful, now they were all cruel. He didn’t care if he got someone hurt. He sneered at anyone who did. Never hesitating to point out people’s flaws when they tried to confront them. He truly became the monster they accused him of being. The only person he didn’t touch was Saihara. But then again Ouma didn’t even acknowledge his existence. It was as if Saihara was nothing more than a ghost. 

 

The two were in pain and the class truly felt it that week. It wasn’t until Ouma stopped showing up did anything change. The morning after the weekend Ouma was gone. Saihara followed the next day. Though when they went searching for the two they had found Saihara in his room, but Ouma was nowhere to be found. The class wanted to sigh in relief at his disappearance, but once they realized Saihara wouldn’t move from his current spot on his bed, they felt dread. When they tried moving him it was like picking up a marionette whose strings have been cut. He’d just fall limp wherever they put him. They eventually concluded the bed was the safest place for him and put him back there. He seemed truly gone mentally. He wouldn’t even eat or drink when they brought it to him. He’d just breathe and stare or sleep. They ended up talking to the school nurse and watch as Saihara is taken into a special wing of the school for severe health problems. He’s hooked up to an IV drip and they usher the others out of the room.

 

And on the other side of town Ouma laid in bed in a hospital. Hooked up to several machines and an IV drip. DICE had broken into his room over the weekend when Ouma hadn’t returned their messages. Finding Ouma unconscious and on the brink of death and rushed him to the hospital near their main base. They had no idea why their once lively leader had lost so much of his light. After a couple of days, he wakes up and before he can put on his villain persona; they pulled him into a hug by his ten subordinates. 

 

His family surrounds him and he realizes what happened and apologizes to them. He let his emotions get to him and he didn’t take care of himself. His family then interrogates him onto why he hadn’t been taking care of himself. He wants to lie, but he can’t lie to his family like this, never like this. He reluctantly admits to the breakup. Telling the truth behind his reason why. Confessing to how hurt he’s been feeling by everyone’s insults and insistence that Saihara break up with him. Confesses to the guilt he’s been feeling ever since. Noting that Saihara doesn’t even seem there mentally anymore. Feeling even more guilt knowing it’s because of him Saihara was like that. But feeling like he had no right to apologize, to ask for forgiveness. It wouldn’t be fair to Saihara. They hear him out. They always would. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve such a loving family. DICE realizes the only real way to fix this is to get the two to talk. But Ouma was in no condition to get out of bed. 

 

So once Ouma fell asleep again, four of the members of DICE snuck out and rushed over to the school to find Saihara. Refusing to go through the school themselves to learn they broke into the school. Using what Ouma had told them before about Saihara to investigate. They could find Saihara in any of his usual hangouts or his bedroom and get caught by Hoshi and Amami on their way to go check the classroom. Hoshi crosses his arms and asks the four, “I don’t believe we’ve met. Who are you and what are you doing in this school?” The two boys noticing the lack of school uniform on the four, but a familiar checkered scarf and mask on each of them and decide to not get security.

 

The one with two bright blonde pigtails exchanges glances with the other three and answers, “We’re DICE and we want to know where Saihara Shuichi is. It’s of utmost importance.” She steps forward, “Either take us to him or leave us alone. We won’t stop until we’ve found him.”

  
  


Hoshi and Amami look at each other and shrug, waving their hand for the four DICE members to follow them. The four cautiously follow whispering to each other about the next part of their plan. Eventually, the six make it to the special health wing and into the room Saihara is currently residing in. He’s awake but remains as blank as ever. The DICE members aren’t deterred and walk up to him.

 

A small brunette who’s hair almost drags on the ground sits up on the hospital bed Saihara is in. She begins to speak, “Saihara Shuichi, we heard what happened between you and Kiki. And we don’t think you have the full story,” The other three DICE members take their own places on the bed. All six in the room notice light beginning to flicker in Saihara’s eyes and how he slightly tilts his head in the brunette's direction at the mention of their breakup. Amami’s eyes widen slightly, it’s the first time Saihara has shown signs of registering anything going on around him since the breakup. She continues, “I imagine you know of the comments from your classmates about their belief that you should have broken up with Kiki and how he’s a monster, correct?” She doesn’t wait for an answer. But Hoshi and Amami begin to look away, guilty, both quickly piecing together where this is going. She says, “Now what you don’t know is how these words got to him. You know Kiki, he doesn’t let anyone tell him who is he and who he should be. But heard them so much that he started to believe them,” The two boys in the back begin to feel uneasy, sure neither one said much on the topic, but they didn’t stop the others. And when they did say something it wasn’t particularly hopeful or positive. She rests her hand on Saihara’s, “Kiki couldn’t take their words and he didn’t want to burden you so he did the one thing he could think of, he gave everyone what they wanted. He broke up with you and he tried to make you hate him for it. He never intended for this to happen. We know intents don’t really matter. But please believe us when we say Kiki didn’t want to let you go. And I guess you didn’t want him to go either, huh?” She takes off her mask and Saihara looks into her eyes. For the first time in a while seeming to actually see whoever was in front of him, instead of looking through them. She smiles, but then it falls as she continues, “Kiki isn’t doing too well right now. He stopped eating and is really sick. We took him to the hospital near our base of operations, hence why he didn’t come on Monday. But he’s awake now and we think you should talk to him. He needs to know you want him to stay no matter what everyone else says. He needs to know that you love him and don’t see the monster everyone else claims is there. He needs you Saihara. We’re good for him sure, but he needs you more than us right now. Please help him Saihara, he needs you to be there for him,” She reaches out to touch Saihara’s cheek. And moment her hand brushes against him it’s like the curse is broken.

 

Tears begin to slowly fall down his cheeks. And slowly life begins to creep back into his eyes. And he begins to blink, finally realizing where he is. Finally waking up after a long time asleep in his own mind. His eyes slowly take in his surroundings. And everyone in the room feels like they could cry seeing him so lucid after everything. He slowly turns the hand the brunette’s is on and holds hers, squeezing lightly to show his understanding. His throat feels scratchy, but he croaks out, “Whe- where is Ouma? I- I want to see him.” The brunette smiles and nods. But she takes her hand away from his face and puts back on her mask. 

 

Amami speaks p from the back, “We’ll go get the nurse to see if Saihara can go now,” giving a small wave before he steps out of the room, Hoshi following him out. The DICE members quietly conversed with Saihara who was slowly coming back to his senses. One with half of his face and masked, covered by hair was on his phone texting the DICE members with Ouma letting them know how things were going on the four’s side. The other replying back on Ouma’s condition, promising to let the four know when Ouma woke up again if the others weren’t back beforehand. 

 

Eventually, Amami and a nurse walk in. Hoshi having needed to go do something wasn’t there. The DICE members stepped away from Saihara as the nurse stepped forward and began an examination of his condition. Asking one of the kids to get some cool water after hearing how bad Saihara’s voice was from being completely unused like it was. The nurse finishes up and concludes Saihara can leave but would have to take it easy for the next week or so. They disconnect Saihara from the different machines and IV, informing the students and leaving to go markdown Saihara’s release from the health wing. DICE and Amami help Saihara up. Amami then leaves to inform their classmates of Saihara’s release as the four take Saihara with them to Ouma.

 

\-----

 

Time felt slowed down for Saihara as he traverses with the four DICE members to the hospital where Ouma’s at. He takes the time to reflect on the past week. He was so upset he had shut down. But hearing Ouma might have not wanted that either and was lying when he said he did gave Saihara hope. He doesn’t know if DICE would lie or not so he’s wary, but he wants to trust them. They’re Ouma’s family and knowing Ouma would just play with someone’s feeling like that, Saihara doesn’t doubt DICE would be the same. Saihara can’t imagine Ouma being friends nevertheless family with some who would do that. And why they said he broke up Saihara made sense. Ouma bottled up his feelings often. And Saihara regrets not having seen the signs sooner, though it seems like DICE didn’t blame him, so he just hopes Ouma doesn’t either. Wait scratch that, he also hopes Ouma is okay. Though the fog in his mind Saihara faintly remembers Ouma playing up his villain persona and knowing he got so bad physically that he had to go to a hospital doesn’t make Saihara feel any better. Saihara doesn’t know what he will do when he sees Ouma. He thinks he’s either going to cry and apologize repeatedly or hug the other. He really missed him. 

 

The five make it up to Ouma’s hospital room and walk in. The other six DICE members welcome back the four and greet Saihara. Saihara quietly returns the greeting before sitting down at Ouma’s side. His heart shatters at the sight. Ouma was always pale, but now he just looks sick. The bags under his eyes look like deep-set bruises and his usually round cheeks look almost sunken in. Saihara feels glad for the blanket and clothes covering the rest of Ouma, he doesn’t want to see how bad Ouma is under all of it. If just what he sees now breaks his heart, Saihara knows seeing the rest of Ouma would destroy him. Saihara pulls Ouma’s hand into his own. Not noticing the tears that have slowly been making their way back down his face. Ouma feels so cold he almost can’t take it. The guilt eats at Saihara if he had noticed or done something sooner. Or at least stop Ouma walking away that day. If Saihara just stopped and talked to Ouma, maybe they would have avoided this whole mess altogether. But a voice in the back of his head laughs at him after all, maybe all that would have done is made things worse. Laughs at Saihara for just making things worse. Saihara doesn’t notice as Ouma begins to open his eyes.

 

DICE leaves the room to give Saihara and Ouma a moment to themselves when they notice. Ouma’s hand tightens around Saihara’s and Saihara looks up in shock. Ouma weakly smiles at him, “Why are you crying Saihara-chan?” Ouma’s voice is rough but nowhere near as bad as Saihara’s was when he woke up from his own mind. Saihara (carefully) jumps into Ouma, pulling him into a semi-tight hug. Tears worsening as apologies spill from his lips. Ouma holds him back weakly, tears forming in his own eyes, “Shh, shh, it’s okay Shu. I’ve got you. I’ve got you,” Ouma slowly cards one hand through Saihara’s hair, the other rubbing his back. Ouma kisses the side of Saihara’s head, “It’s okay now. You don’t need to apologize. It’s not your fault and I’m not lying about that. Besides,” Ouma chuckles, “If anyone should apologize it should be me. I was so cruel then. I know the circumstances, but there’s no excuse for what I did. I could have found another way, but instead I hurt you and that’s not right,” Saihara goes to protest Ouma’s apology, but he shushes the boy. Reassuring Saihara, “It’s okay Saihara. I need to apologize, you deserve that much. I saw how upset you were, you completely lost it. I don’t know if you could even register anything going on around you at that point. And I did that to you and for that, I’m so sorry. But I promise I’ll make it up to you somehow one of these days.”

 

Saihara pulls back just enough to look into Ouma’s eyes. He uses one hand to wipe away some of his own tears, “Oh Ouma, I forgave you a long time ago. Besides, I want to apologize to you. I wasn’t paying attention and got hurt yourself. I don’t care if there was no way for me to know, I should’ve realized what they were saying could hurt you and done something about it. You were being hurt, and I was complacent. I let you get hurt and I’m sorry,” Saihara closes his eyes and rests his forehead against Ouma’s own. Ouma returns the feeling, closing his own eyes. Saihara takes a deep breath and continues, “You were my partner and you always had my back. I should have had yours too. You always try your best to make sure I’m happy. I should have done the same, but I didn’t. And for these things, I’m sorry myself. You got hurt by their words and then having to break up with me you hurt yourself further. I let you get hurt twice in a row. You’re in a hospital for pete’s sake and DICE told me they found you unconscious and a foot in the grave. You’re hurt, and I did that to you. If you want no excuses for your actions, then there’s none for mine either,” Saihara cups Ouma’s cheeks and both open their eyes, staring at one another. Both of their eyes holding so much pain and grief, but at the same time, there’s a warmth and love for the other they’re holding so close. Saihara finishes his apology, “I’m sorry Ouma. I promise to do better. And I will be here if you’ll still have me.”

 

Ouma chuckles weakly, “Silly Shumai. I never wanted to lose you in the first place. I should be asking you if you’d still have me.” The two both begin to laughs and fall back into each other, pulling them into a hug. Ouma blinks back more tears as he says, “Look at us, a pair of messes aren’t we?”

 

Saihara laughs into his shoulder, “I don’t mind as long as I’m with you.” A warmth engulfs the two boys. It’s almost funny how two weeks can feel like an eternity. How hurt can hide the truth despite needing the truth to end the hurt. The two stays like that for a while, just clinging onto the other. Laughing to their hearts’ content. Though eventually, their laughter subsides. And the two pull back slightly. And it hits him in that moment, it hits him just how much he missed Ouma. 

 

While Ouma finds he really loves Saihara, more than he thought he could. He told himself to never get attached, and he listened, barely feeling anything for anyone. But here he is and by god does he love the boy in his arms. And Ouma blurts out, “Can I kiss you?” He wants to make sure Saihara wants this too. Ouma prays that Saihara wants this too, more than anything else he’s ever wanted. Thankfully Ouma does have to worry because in a blink of an eye Saihara has pulled him into a kiss. Both of their lips are chapped and there’s nothing to even contemplate that they’re tasting. But they find there’s nowhere else they rather be. The kiss is clumsy and messy and so very emotional. But it’s perfect to them, it holds everything they’ve been feeling the past two weeks up to a letter. And they’ve never felt better. Later they’re going to have to deal with everyone else. Later they’re going to have to learn how to heal from this. Since though they are back together, they’re still hurt. But for now, the two just pull the other closer. Only pulling back far enough to take another breath before going back to other. Kisses both soft and intense are traded between the two. And somehow without a single word they manage to get across the mutual feeling of being each other’s whole world. 


End file.
